You can’t blame her for your confusion. You have one foot in and the other out. You’re the one straddling the fence. Guess what…It’s not her fault…
You love her. She would be perfect if you were ready for a relationship. You don’t want to lose her. Yet, you’re in no position to commit to a real woman on a real level. So, you keep her in the wings. String her along until you’re ready—if ever. In the meantime, you continue to run the streets, hit the clubs, and hang out with buddies that hang out with bitches.
So now you have to come home to her ‘mouth.’ Whether that’s yelling, fussing, cussing, or crying; you want her to just shut-up and take it. But, it’s wrong to expect her to press ‘pause’ on her life, while you hit ‘play’ on yours.
If you are misleading a woman into thinking that you are ready to DO life with her, then this message is for you:
Simply put: It’s unfair.
But, that’s not what this piece is about. This piece is not about how you strung her along. Not about how you led her down marriage lane, made a right on Not Yet, winded down the road of Hell Naw, and parked on It’s Over. Nope, not this piece.
This piece is not about how you can’t live with her but can’t live without her. Not about your love/hate relationship with her. And, certainly not about you living a double-life. This piece is not about fault either…
This piece is about responsibility. Honesty. Sacrifice. Selflessness. These are characteristics worthy of respect—even if you’re not ready. She’s only with you because she believed the words that came out of your mouth. So she’s not nagging you…she’s holding you accountable.
Guys loooove to quote Scarface , “All I have in this world is my balls and my word…;” Truthfully, many of you can’t keep your word because you’re too busy juggling your balls. Now she’s unnerving, agitating aggravating, bothersome, nitpicky, and an irritating B.I.T.C.H. Yet, you love her. And, the main reason you can’t stand her is because she’s a constant reminder of your irresponsibility.
Guys, it’s okay if you’re not ready…JUST SAY THAT! I want a brand new Audi r8 but can’t afford to pay the price yet, so that doesn’t mean I should go steal one! That would land me in prison.
When you deceive a woman into thinking you are committed to doing life with her, what you’re really doing is stealing her time, heart, and efforts. How? Because you’re in no position to pay the attention required to purchase/afford those aspects of her life. And if you finally settle down with a woman who you have ruined with your antics; just think ‘prison’ because YOU WILL HAVE TO DO YOUR TIME.
So wait until you can afford what you want to buy. In the meantime, just tell her you’re not ready. <== period Ladies: how do you know if he’s worth waiting for? I have seen too many examples of women who have tried to settle an unsettled man. Desperation blurs vision. Most of these women open their eyes and realize he wasn’t worth the wait anyway. We can get so caught up in possessing something that we hardly take the time to evaluate its’ true worth. So, how can you tell if a man is worth taking that ‘waiting’ chance? Watch what he chooses to do while he’s not doing you. If it looks anything like he’s building a solid foundation or prepping for future stability (financially, emotionally, spiritually, mentally, etc); then, he’s probably worth keeping on your radar. In other words, he should be working toward being a better man, human, husband, etc. Chances are, this guy won’t ask you to put your life on hold while he gets his shit together. Instead, this guy will work even harder at making himself your best choice. Pay careful attention to how he uses his freedom. This will give you great insight into his character. HOWEVER: if he’s just partying and/or bullshitting, I suggest you wear a sign on your heart that says NO LOITERING! In the words of Tamar Braxton…”I don’t want your pieces.” Opinion only…