With the Holiday season creeping up, many of us will desire to hold, caress and create special memories with someone. We will cringe at going to family dinners alone. We will reminisce over exes. We will consider those available guys that we passed up all year long. We will even contemplate attending parties and outings with that asshole who only wants sex. All of this we will do simply to avoid feeling lonely.

But, I’d like to make a suggestion: DON’T BE THIRSTY! and DON’T SETTLE!

The best part of being single is the time you have to grow as an individual. Use this end-of-the-year time wisely. Focus on developing those areas of your life that will make you a better asset to your future partner/partnership. Perhaps you can call upon family and friends to help heal old wounds, kick bad habits, and clear up financial messes. A good man will appreciate the time you took to better prepare yourself for life with him. Once he realizes the effort you put toward helping yourself, he will be honored to take over where you left off so he can lead the two of you in growing together.

Now, while you don’t have a man, take time to carefully consider how you can better position yourself to attract what you desire. Especially if:

You want a man that knows how to love…not just pronounce it.
You want a man that knows how to listen…not just hear.
You want a man that knows how to give…not just receive.
You want a man that knows how to pray…not just assume the position.
You want a man that knows how to protect….not control.
You want a man that knows how to provide…not stunt.

However, you must know that the most important part of attracting a man that ‘knows how’ is being a woman ‘that knows how.’

Why? Because it’s not all about you.

If that ‘good’ man comes in your life, he wants to be loved and appreciated too! Unfortunately, that’s hard to do when you can’t love and appreciate yourself.

So, here’s your opportunity. While you’re single, this time can be used for getting to know yourself better. For example, this season make it a point to observe family–where you come from (even embrace the not-so-good parts). Take advantage of opportunities to ask questions and gain insight and wisdom from your elders or married couples. Gather a few cooking tips or recipes.

But, DO NOT take your single woman ‘woe-is-me’ attitude to the family dinner. Don’t turn the holiday party into your pity-party. Instead, be thankful for the time you have to grow.

Here’s the key: The more you know who you are, the more you understand your worth. The more you understand your worth, the more boundaries you enforce. More boundaries equal less baggage.

And with the extra BS out of your life, you find yourself and leave more room for the two of you to find each other.

Until then, if you only find yourself getting a little ‘thirsty’ this holiday season, drink Egg Nog, heat up some Apple Cider, pour Bailey’s, Kahlua, Vodka, Rum, Jack Daniels, or a Hot Tottie.

Whatever you do, just make sure you don’t start sippin’ on settlin’!’

Cheers!